Couples

Relationship Problems

Couple therapy can help with a range of relationship problems and suffering.

I have extensive experience helping couples with difficulties such as infidelity, tensions with parenting, and sex and intimacy.

These types of difficulties, if unresolved, are nearly always accompanied by distressing communication patterns such as circular, repetitive arguments, disconnect and distance, or anger and conflict that feels out of control.

Preparation for Relationship Milestones

Couples also come to see me because they are about to get married, move in together or start a family and wish to talk this through.

There may be some anxieties and concerns to work out, an interest in being better at managing difference and conflict, or simply that the couple want to be thoughtful and intentional in their preparation for a significant life change or event.

Generally, though not always, this will be shorter term work.

How Therapy Can Help

Insight into how and why you engage and react to each other the way you do can lead to huge change. For example, so often (unconsciously) our pasts get mixed up with the present and we attribute aspects of our former experiences as existing in the other. We do not always see our internal confusion with what was then and what is now.

By developing a greater understanding of yourselves, your histories, and previous experiences, it is possible to see how you have come to relate to one another in the way that you do. This insight often enables couples to break free from stuck and destructive patterns. Instead of accusations, criticisms, and defensiveness, couples are more inclined to express their feelings and needs and be open and interested in hearing their partner’s feelings and needs.

Getting Started

When I work with you my first priority is to learn about your issues, who you are as individuals, and to get a sense of the relationship you create together. I see this exploration to be a collaborative process – not something done to you. 

Through our deepened understanding I will help you: identify your goals for change; find resolution and relief to your distress; generate solutions to your problems; and discover a new way forward in how you relate with one another.

If you feel I could be the right fit for you, and you would like to arrange a consultation to discuss your situation and how psychotherapy can help you, please get in touch.

Couple therapy provides an opportunity to move away from seeing your partner as the problem and to see instead the dynamic you create together